May 29, 2013

  I don't understand life. It's weird. We live, we do things, we stress ourselves out, and eventually, we die. We all end up at the same place, for the same reason, with the same cause. Yet we come with a lot of different conclusions for that one possible out come. We develop theories, saying God exists, to ease our fear. But who DID create the universe? Was it by pure chance that strings went into 2D then 3D and created today? Or IS there a higher being? Any how, I'm an atheist.

  Life is confusing with school. I don't understand what our teacher wants; how can 2 exact same answers get 2 different marks? Is he mentally retarded or what? I'm already having difficulty in English and French, giving me bullshit like this ain't going to help me going on honor roll. Not only that, but they can't teach either. How do they expect us to get high marks like that?

  And my brain is just in a mess. I don't know what I'm feeling. My brain is like go for it, but you won't make it. And honestly, I know I won't either, but I think I might regret forever if I don't go for it... But I don't want to screw up either. It's a double edged sword. It's hard to find the right person, and when you find it, it just kills you for the fact that you can't get with her. It's almost like peeling off your skin cell by cell, until you die. (Yea I might be exaggerating a little)

Do you guys ever come across bipolar times like these? (LOL)

5-28-2103

So I had a pretty weird dream. Honestly, I don't know what it means. It really weird.... I mean, I would never do a geohunt, nevermind the fact that it was conducted with friends from cadets. 

Anyways, I just recognized how many projects I have to do, so.... I'm screwed == and the French test on the little prince.... I only read one chapter. I'm so dead lol

One more thing I wanna mention, I have 3 annual reviews (3 - 6 hour parades at cadets. ). 3. Everyone else has 1, but our band has 3. Honestly wtf it's just retarded. 

Anyways how's your day guys?

PS I got placed bronze I in league! =D

O=

So today is Victoria Day, and yesterday there was firework. I kinda wanted to watch it, but its Down town. Luckily my neighbour is brown ( its a little racist but its Tru, I don't mean to offend anyone), So they celebrated with firework. I got to see it through my window xD

Also, I found out that she and a guy went watching firework. Don't know if dating or coincidence or sth, but its really not my problem anyways. Just a little sad, but w/e. prob just me being retarded again. I kinda want to know if they're actually dating though ;D

And honestly it's getting burning hot. I had to wear underpants only and I was still burning hot. Damn my uncle

Who is so cheap. My fan is all the way up too. So cold in winter and so hot in summer... What kind of place is Canada==

And man, some people just can't play league. And their attitude is absolutely disastrous. U can lose a game that you're winning cuz of them. Dumbasses. 

I built Gundam today (after ten years) and gosh it took me 1 h and 30 min to build 2 arms. 2 arms. And not completed (LOL@@') 

How was your long weekend?

Sudden thoughts in school

This is more of an awkward time for me to write a blog, but I was thinking in class as I had nothing to do. 

Honestly, I'm scared. I feel like she has shut down bars between me and her. Every time I try to reach towards her, I have to extend my arms through one of the holes between the bars, and every time I extend my arms through it it gets filled up. I'm scared that eventually the holes will all get filled up... 

I don't know how she feels about me ( prob like "what? Who? O. He's ok"), but I certainly like her a lot ( yea I'm a physco lol I noticed =='). 

Whats more? I'm moving schools, so all those friends I had will be lost. I'll b alone in the new school. =(

Anyways that's just random thoughts during math (LOL). What's up with you guys?

FTX is horrible

Hey, so I had FTX the last weekend. One word. HORRIBLE. it was raining hard, and the group which built my tent forgot to put a tarp... So we had to clean it from 11:30 pm to 2:30 am before we got to sleep. It was cramped, too. A 2-3 people tent fitting four people... Cadet needs some logic here. 

I must say, I haven't talked to her much during the whole weekend. She wasn't in any of my classes. I sometimes wonder if I still have a chance ( I know I don't LOL) 

I Have also finally made the decision to drop IB. I don't think the school I go to ATM is good at all... I'm hoping to change schools. I'm gonna go to the new school for interview this Friday, hopefully everything goes well. However, I still don't have a firm decision if I want to drop IB yet. 

Internet is laggy as hell... Can't even play league. On Starcraft everyone is just cheesing me... And SDGO obviously lags because I need to connect to VPN to play in Hong Kong. Nothing is working out for me.... Real life or gaming. 

So how was your day?

Another few days

Sup? So I'm gonna start writing blogs for a few days instead of everyday. I went and did volunteer work with the girl I Like's sister, too. I must say, they are really different  (I'm not surprised). But their voices are pretty similar. LOL

The week was fairly boring, with a bunch of projects due right after the weekend of a FTX which takes up a whole weekend for cadets. Oh joy. No sleeping until the next morning on Sunday. 

That's about it for now. How's your life?

May 2, 2013

Hey, sup guys. Today I have cadets again. This is the third week that I have cadets for a full week... And my feet is honestly dying. I have to go to something like Le Parc tomorrow... In full uniform a again... For the whole day again....

And if I haven't mentioned, the girl I like is also in cadets. She was here today, too. I'm honestly pretty happy just seeing her, let alone working with her for the whole night volunteering for the blind! (The volunteer adds something special, I mean, i doing something useful!). I sound like a stalker. Oi. As for tomorrow, she won't b there? But her sister will, apparently. I don't like her sister too much though, she doesn't give people too much respect.

I've also found that the city is pretty sometimes, too. It was quite a nice view. Although I must admit stars are much much better. School is boring as usual, and honestly I just don't want to go to my school anymore. Teachers there can't teach.

And that's my day. Not much. How was your day, guys?

I don't know what to do

Hey, so I'm back again. Today, I really feel like I don't know what I'm doin. I like a person who virtually I can never be together with; my teachers are awful and I'm not learning anything thus failing the courses (asian fail); I feel like people ignore me... but honestly, I feel like it wouldn't matter anymore if everyone just forgets about me and let me rot away in a hole... yet life doesn't just let you off the hook that easily.

I can't get her off my mind, it's extremely obvious to me that she's not interested in me at all, but my brain just keeps forcing me to pursue her. She's 2 years older than me, and this year is prob my last year seeing her. Why am I even so upset of her? I guess she's the first that I truly like from my heart? I'm not so sure.

Also, I'm looking to transfer schools. The current school is honestly horrible... the teachers can't teach, they are extremely bias; with the exact same answer (and i mean exact same), my friend got full mark, yet I only got half of it... Favourism(yea this ain't a word. but we all know what it means =)) is everywhere, and then they test you on grade 12 things even though we're only grade 10 and they never taught us any of those things.

I guess some of you just think I'm complaining the f*ck outta myself, my just needed to express myself... it eating me up inside. I know probably no one is going to read this, but at this point, I already feel much better. If anyone reads this out there... tell me what to do? I'm in a confused state... I don't want to live anymore... (aha i'm not gonna suicide.)

Good day.